How Sick!

by Disco

Monday night, Liam promised to come over and hang out with me. I waited. I waited. I waited. And I never heard from him. So, in a frenzied state of anger and horniness I got in touch with Hugh, who had texted me a few nights before - the first time I heard from him since that last fuck together. I'd sorted out my feelings towards him (none except the urge to use him as my personal dildo boy) and so I hopped in a cab and went to his place.

He sucked me, he fucked me, he fingered me, he did it all - I came four times. Then I went down on him, intending to suck him off until he came - we went at it for an hour or more and he hadn't come yet. And there I was, bopping and sucking for nearly twenty minutes when my lip was numb, my jaw was aching and suddenly I was just nauseous. A few minutes later, he laughed at something - something unrelated in it head - but I took it the wrong way and combined with the nausea, I asked to go home. He walked me home, but I'm pretty sure he's never going to speak to me again, my just ditching him midblowjob and never letting him come even though I came four times...

I honestly felt really bad about it.

I went to this place across the street to get something to eat, and standing in line I suddenly got incredibly light-headed. My hearing went down by half, I felt like I would pass out... A couple days later, at the doctor's office, I was diagnosed with a sinus infection. I feel really bad about the whole ordeal, I wish I could have finished him off... Haven't heard from him since and don't expect to :P Found out later that night, Liam had just gone to the pub with his buds.

I spent the rest of the week sick as a dog, didn't go anywhere, but was looking forward to my date with Liam for last night. Thursday he promised to come over again, but canceled - citing dizziness. That was fine. Friday night, he allegedly passed out and had to be taken to the hospital - with low blood pressure, that was fine. Except. He never officially canceled the Saturday date - he told me these things were going on - said he hoped he'd still be able to make it but whenever the time was he realised he couldn't, I didn't hear one word from him. I don't hear from him all of Saturday until late Saturday night when he lets me in on that his friends took him out for a couple drinks since he was feeling a bit better. That was just a slap in the face. At like midnight, he asked if we could have a drink or maybe I could come over and watch a movie with him afterall. I told him maybe another time. I'm not just going to be on his time, waiting for him to come hang out with me and just being pathetic enough to let it slide when he ditches me to go for drinks. So I am backing way off of that one, if he wants it he can come get it. I guess he wasn't as thoughtful as we were all hoping...

But! Saturday night an interesting thing happened. Jack, the ex, came online and I told him to call me. And he did. We talked on the phone together for three hours... It was the first time I'd spoken to him on the phone since the last time we had phone sex, way back in June. It was amazing. It was great to hear his voice - to hear the tone of how he was saying things, it avoided a lot of gnarly confusion. I got to hear his laugh, I got to really talk to him. He told me that he does still like me, that he misses me, that he thinks about me... We made plans about things we want to try when we're back together. I have never, ever felt as secure about the one-year agreement as I am now. Before it seemed like a ridiculous hope. Now it seems like it's going to happen...

We talked about how I wanted to try having candies - like chocolate covered almonds - slid into my pussy, and he would have to pull them out with his tongue and eat them. We talked about how he wanted me to wear a pair of little white panties , how he wants to try sex with someone watching, how I want to have sex in a restroom of a restaurant and a party, how we both want to have sex outdoors. We talked about the things we used to do that turned us on, we talked about what we would do to each other right now if we could. He came once. I came twice.

In light of this conversation, knowing how much I do love him, and believing that the one year agreement seems like a pretty solid shot at this point (OMG YAY ^.^) I think I'd like to take the rest of the year to just explore myself, like I had set out to do in the beginning. I don't want to have a relationship with anybody. I don't know if I would stop it if it started happening, but I want to take this year and try all the things I want to try with whoever I want to try them with. I want to go with the flow. And mostly, I want to focus on myself.