Under the Influence

by XTC

Most of my sexual experiences have involved intoxication of some sort. This is not something that I am necessarily proud of; in fact, I wish that this were not the case. I’m sure that sex while drunk is useful to help spice up the bedroom of many couples, and it may be fun if you finally snag that hot guy at the bar you’ve been eyeing all night. However, personally, it isn’t my thing. Maybe this will change in the future, but the sexual experiences that I have had while drunk were not exactly anything to brag about the next day.

My first drunken sexing occurred on my eighteenth birthday. I had just moved away for college and into my dorm. As fate had it, my birthday fell on the weekend that the school’s “dry welcome week” ended. So needless to say, everybody was smashed. The boy was in my room, but there with another girl from down the hall, who I did not really know. I managed to entice him away with my lip ring and handcuffs that he had spotted lying on my window sill.

We should have had sex right there, we should have broken in my new bed. Unfortunately, one of the new friends who I had just made days prior, was a little protective. She refused to let anybody leave the room as a method of preventing me from “making a dumb choice.” Thanks to new residence buildings, however, I had a private bathroom! But then she stole my condoms... As you can see, this was not easy for me. Somehow in my drunken (and I mean drunken) state I managed to remember that a condom was given to me in my residence welcome package.

Needless to say, we had sex on my bathroom floor while all of my friends listened. It wasn’t nearly worth all of the hassle that I went through to get it. Not to sound incredibly prude... but I have been fingered by fingers that were bigger than his penis. It lasted one minute. Or maybe even less. Literally. The only thing that made it not horrrrrrible is that I was still incredibly tight at the time so it didn’t hurt as much as it would have if it would have been with somebody else. Maybe it could have even been decent if it lasted through an entire song.

I don’t remember what he looked like, only that he had red hair. I only got his first name, which I had to be reminded of by my friends. I haven’t seen him since. If you do want to have a drunken one time hook up, I believe that it should be one that you look back on in the future and think, “Wow, I remember that one time when...” It should be an awesome experience. So, basically, my message is not to completely avoid drunken hook-ups, but just have high standards of who they are with. I know that such judgement is difficult while drunk, but it’s just something to keep in mind. There are far too many disease and pregnancy options out there to risk it on horrible sex that you may not even remember the next day.

I should have learned my lesson after that birthday. But sadly, more experiences followed. The most shameful would be the deflowering of my friends’ cousin who came down to visit for a weekend. Thank god she forgave me for that. By the way, don’t ever make that mistake. Not only did I feel guilty and awkward as hell the next day, but I was drunk and sloppy and he was completely inexperienced and we barely knew each other so there was no level of comfort or familiarity. It was one of the worst sexual experiences that I have, and I’m sure that it was not an adequate introduction into the world of sexuality for that poor guy.

The WORST, however, occurred this past school year. I went months without any intercourse. The chance just never came up. I wasn’t exactly looking either... But one night I had a treasure hunt with my friends. After hours of walking around town in the cold we found ourselves at the school pub. I got smashed. By the time I headed home, I had drank two entire pitchers of beer to myself. Keep in mind, that I am usually drunk after one.

A guy who I had sorta been seeing the spring prior decided to call me that night because he was back in town. So I went over to his friends’ places to hang with them for awhile. I couldn’t go to bed while so wasted anyways if I didn’t want to wake with a hangover, and everybody else was asleep because it was a school night.

I will spare the details on how everything happened, but we sort of had a three some of sorts... I’m sure that this topic will arise eventually so I will further embellish on this story then. For now, let’s just say, that it was horrid. The new man was incredibly blessed in the size range and I am tight, and was far too drunk to feel comfortable there or lubricate properly. So so so so painful. I hurt the entire next day, it was worse than when I lost my virginity.

Now that I’ve shared my most horrific alcohol-related experiences, unto something that I DO enjoy - weed. I began smoking weed when I was rather young. There are periods where I barely do it at all, periods where I do it too much, it fluctuates. But one thing that I never did, was have sex while high. I always wanted to... I go through different moods when I smoke, depending on the situation and the weed, etc. But one of those moods is a need to touch everything... and just... enjoy everything.

When this blog first began I wrote about celibacy and how I had actually been celibate for awhile. Well, a couple of weeks ago, that streak was broken. It also happened to be my first time having sex while high.

The man was a guy who I have... history... with, tracing back to many years ago. Certain friends think that it was a bad decision, other friends don’t even know yet, but I’m sure that they would object as well. It may not have been the best decision, but thankfully I have not spent time with him since so it has not turned into a regular thing, or an incredibly complicated situation.

We smoked multiple joints. We’d fool around a little bit, smoke more, fool around more, smoke a bit more, and so on. It was quite... kinky in some ways. The foreplay was amazing. He definitely knows what he is doing! That combined with the enhanced physical feeling due to the weed... utter awesomeness. My only regret is that I didn’t let it continue on for longer until I got to orgasm. I was just impatient and kept wanting more, I guess.

There were a lot of kinkyesque things involved that I quite enjoyed; including rough nipple play, choking, and messy cock-sucking. He asked me to make sure that it wasn’t too much though. I liked it. We tried a ton of various positions and I got a much better sense of what I like best and what I’m not a huge fan of, which was muchly needed.

Before I went there I expected for something sexual to happen. We always had a bit of a desire for each other and he hadn’t been with a girl for a very long time. I guess that you could say that I got what I wanted. I have been stressed out lately, and just prior to that night I was on the verge of exploding. I got to catch up with an old friend, get high and relax, and blow off some physical steam. It was SUCH a relief and I felt absolutely amazing the next day.

Back to this week’s topic specifically, I think that the weed really helped the situation. It made me feel relaxed and comfortable, and I was much more easily aroused because all good feeling was intensified. It should also probably be noted that since I have never had consistent sex I am still quite tight and a lot of the time, sex hurts at first. It should have hurt a lot this time because this specific boy is quite gifted. However, thankfully, it wasn’t too bad at all. I think that part of that may be due to weed’s alleged pain-numbing powers.

SO, to wrap up, although I am not a huge fan of drunken hook-ups, a good smoke before sex is something that I am quite in favour of. In fact, I definitely hope to do it again someday. It’s a grand ol’ fun time!

PVC & Marilyn Manson

by Disco

Hey, everybody! This is our first experience post which is not related to the weekly topic. I just wanted to share my experience at my first ever fetish event! A lovely lady mentioned the website Fetlife on her blog about a week ago, and I joined because as I read more and more blogs I am becoming more and more interested in the fetish community. I wanted to attend a munch as my first event but I chickened out, for real. So then a girl on the site wanted to go to this event, which was called Subspace "Fetish Pride" and took place at a club downtown. She didn't want to go alone and so I decided to man up and go.

I went down to a boutique, bought myself a rather sexy very short PVC number which the bartender at the event was quite impressed with, and marched my way down. The girl, it turned out, couldn't get in to the party because she was underage (oops!) and the girl who came with her didn't want to leave her to get home alone. I had spent money on a cab to get there, so I decided I wasn't going to waste it and I went in alone. Honestly, it was tons of fun. It would have been a thousand times more fun if I had known somebody there and not been so alone. It was just a little basement club with a DJ, a small bar, a little coat/bag check area, and an area at the back where girls were being whipped and spanked as they chose. I only stayed a couple hours because it honestly got a little boring being there by myself - I tried to make friends with one girl, and she was very nice, but I lost her and she never came around again.

They scheduled a type of show at midnight and I stayed until close to one A.M. and never saw such a thing but that's alright. They played a lot of good music (Depeche Mode, Marilyn Manson remixes, Peaches...) and everybody looked very sexy. It was honestly a pretty comfortable, welcoming environment. It definitely got my feet wet and I am now excited to start attending more and different kinds of fetish events, although I am still really, really uneducated about much of it. I am very excited about learning and excited/nervous to get my hands dirty, for sure!

Textuality

by Disco

My experience with photo sharing/sexting/phone sex/&c. has thus far only been with one person. And so I think it's time I told the story of the man I will call Jack.

I fell in love with Jack in December of 2008. Jack fell in love with me in February of 2009. We dated until April 2009, and broke up, then reunited until I believe January 2010, when we broke up again. And then! Reunited again! [Yes, we're one of those] until Jack fell out of love with me in March 2010. Well, I say that, but he said he didn't know how he felt. Which is what had happened back in April 2009 - and seems to happen when he gets very overwhelmed with other areas of his life.

It was awful, we both cried, I didn't really talk to him for two months. Then, his graduation. I went to his graduation because I had made the promise to, and I went to the little cocktail party he had afterward with his family and some of our friends. I had to leave to the bathroom over and over, crying, and eventually he came back and told me to come up in a couple days and we'll talk about everything before he left (he moved back to British Columbia.) I went up that day, May 22nd, and we made a deal to 'try to try again' in a year. We also had great sex.

The thing is, the sex part hasn't stopped since that day. We have had phone sex twice since then, we've had numerous cyber sex encounters, and several picture exchanges including a promise of pictures for his birthday which I am considering backing out of... But here you can see the context of my experiences with technosex.

Since I began going to school, and he began working, we hardly ever talk to each other. And I now realise I was totally attached to our non-physical sexual relationship. Even if I knew I had no claim to him emotionally, and no real claim to his monogamy physically, I knew he wanted me. I still know he wants me - he makes it rather plain - but the long periods without talking make it feel like... I don't know. It's a confusing situation.

I will admit that over a summer period when he went back to BC and I was still on the other side of the country, we also took part in a NPS relationship and it was great. I'm definitely not saying that it's not awesome.

But I am saying that it can carry the same emotional baggage and can create the same emotional baggage as regular sexual encounters, in my opinion. Sex is, to most people, intimate. Maybe not romantically intimate but it's something you don't share with everybody. A certain level of trust is involved - and especially when you're sharing pictures and the like with somebody who could use those to expose you anytime down the line in your career or marriage or anything. So... obviously these girls were right - the lovely Glitterbella and XTC let me know they thought my continuing of the sexual side of my relationship was a big mistake - but am I going to stop? I don't know.

I do want to stop scratching this scab and let that wound heal. But more than that, I love him and I don't want to lose him for good.

Edit: Talked to Jack since making this post, we've cleared the air and I feel alright about the situation again. Also, we then had really good cyber sex. Gotta go change my sheets!

Non-physical Sex? Yes please!

By Glitterbella

Sorry this was late....there was some booze related activities last night!

I'll get this out there right now. I LOVE non-physical sex (or NPS for short). Sure I love the real stuff more, but NPS is kinda sexy and theres a bit of riskiness to it. Plus, it can make up for a lover that isn't skilled the the bedroom department. Or is traveling/living in a different city.

There are several kinds of NPS, cyber sex (Cybering) cam shows, phone sex and sexting. I don't enjoy is sexting as much as the others, but it can certainly help pass the time, particularly if your somewhere where the others are not an option. Like at work, hehehe.

I don't know why, but I've always loved cybering. Since way before I should have I was on line in chat rooms. It feels sexy and dangerous and sort of forbidden at the same time. I honestly enjoy cyber sex or even phone sex more then masturbating without it. Cybering is best done over IM like MSN or Yahoo, if you know the person, or by googling Adult chat rooms if your looking for some one to play with. Related (sort of) to cybering is Cam shows. These are fun, but I don't find the penis to be very arousing when its on cam. Sorry Gents. I did one last week with a male friend of mine (Soon to be more?? Maybe!) and it was fun. Wish MSN had played along. But since it didn't, I now have an actual recording of him – and he has one of me. Normally this would bother me, but since it wasn't exactly my face, I'll deal.

As for phone sex, I enjoy it enough that I considered signing up to be a phone sex operator. But then I was like, what if it ruins it for me? What if doing it with strangers all day takes away from my personal enjoyment? My current “thing” doesn't like it, so I haven't done it in a while, so maybe I will sign up - who knows, it would be an experience! And would help pay for the 3 bedroom my roommate and I want.

Sort of related is also my writing fanfiction. SMUTTY SMUTTY fanfiction ;) I don't know how per say it's related but it feels weird leaving it out...Maybe we should have a week talking about sex and technology?

I've been told that doing these sorts of things makes me a slut. I don't really care - I don't do them for other people, I do them for ME. I enjoy them. And that's what matters.

Phonography - Yup, There Are Even Pop Songs 'Bout It!

By XTC

Proceed with caution: We’re all honest individuals here. I am going to warn you, prior to reading this blog entry, that I am going through an intense period of PMS right now. I was supposed to begin my period today but haven’t so far and it’s just pretty bad. Tonight I have cried to random happy songs, laughed hysterically at a video of a kitten getting hit by a bigger cat, and had the urge to beat the shit out of somebody. I’m not a violent person. I need new birth control pills. Ones with better regulators... I also dislike these hot flashes. They suck. ANYWAYS I just thought that I would warn you of this because it mayyyy come across in my entry.

So! Sex through technology. What isn’t through technology now? Seriously. I did a little bit of research on this topic using recent news. Guess how I found those news articles – on the internet.

(I mayyyy be kind of distracted with texting people about how horny I am right now, but it fits well with the topic, so I’ma stick to it...)

First of all: What IS non-physical sex? Obviously it includes various forms of sexual interaction through methods other than physical contact, such as telephone, texting, the internet, etc. I’m not sure what the dictionary definition is, such a thing is kind of hard to define, but I consider it to include both discussion sexual matters though words, such as explaining what you would like to do to the other person, etc., or sending/receiving sexual photographs.

I came across an article discussing how the city of New York is in the progress of implementing a new school policy to help prevent sexting and cyber bullying.

Clearly, cyberbullying is an ever-growing phenomenon that needs to have action taken against it. But sexting? Is it really THAT big of an issue? (PS: If you haven’t already figured it out, sexting involves sending sexually explicit text messages.)

The punishment that they are proposing is rather severe. Students caught sexting can receive not only a board meeting with their parents but an expulsion from the school for up to 90 days. Clearly such a punishment would have a huge effect on their personal life and school performance.

Although this may seem within decent regulation it must most importantly be noted that these are not small children who are receiving such strict punishments for this act; it is high school students as well, ages 16, 17, 18, etc. I have to ask – If you are at an age where it is legal to have sex who the hell has the right to tell you you’re not allowed to do it via cell phone?

Oh, it gets even worse! Not only is this punishment applicable if you sext on school property, but if you do so off of school time as well! That’s right, even students on summer vacation can be accused and punished if somebody was to report them to the school the following school year.

Naturally, this draws a HUGE line between rules that are in place to enforce that school is merely an educational environment and an invasion of one’s personal privacy and personal rights. I, myself, think that it is complete and utter bullshit. It is ridiculous rules such as this that make teenagers resent school and education in general.

A link to the full article can be found here:
http://wcbstv.com/local/sexting.nyc.sexting.2.1760507.html
But you can also find more info by simply doing a google or youtube search on the topic. As I’m sure you can imagine, there are a lot of opinions circling around this.

In all honesty, I find the occasional raunchy text conversation very beneficial in helping a long night at work fly by.

Tango No. 1

By Disco

My first time... Alright.

My first time I was fifteen years old. I was going to go visit my dad with a friend of mine, I lived in Canada, she lived in Maine, and my dad lived in Texas. I went down for the weekend to my friend's place in Maine before we flew to Texas. That weekend, she had a boy over for the night - I'll call him Frankie. My friend had a major crush on Frankie, but he became much more interested in me and we fooled around when she was out of the room. But, I didn't want to lose my virginity, I had wanted to wait at least a couple more years.

Then, the two of us went to Texas and it was very dramatic. My father is highly emotionally/psychologically abusive and she saw that for the first time (thus beginning to understand me,) and then I was molested by his then-'boyfriend' (a straight man who had sex with him in exchange for being bought alcohol) in a pool.

So, reeling from lack of control in all of these situations, we go back to Maine and I decide I must take control of what people do to my body. I must have the say in who touches me where, and when I want to do what. I just needed to do something to assert some kind of control. So I got Frankie to sleep with me, because I thought it was my decision and I had the control.

We didn't use a condom. We were interrupted three times by her mother. We never even took our clothes off, he just pushed my panties to one side. Worst of all, there was cat hair everywhere and it kept getting on our mouths and eyes... I regretted it immediately afterward and did not have sex again until...

I went to university. I got high. I got drunk. I fucked a guy, we'll call him George. George fell madly in love with me after this - I woke up the next day like 'God, I had sex with George? What the fuck?' I thought nothing else would happen.

For the record, I was also in a very very disturbed mental state, this is around the time I hardly ever left my room, I wrote on my walls during panic attacks, I was still a cutter, I had attempted suicide a couple times, I thought everybody hated me - I was in a bad way.

So George falls madly in love with me, and two mutual friends begin begging me on his behalf to give him a chance and date him, please, won't I, please, he really likes you, and blah blah. I felt like they were saying, we're his friends, not yours, we care how he feels, not you, and we won't be your friends if you don't do this. So I did it.

After I started dating him, I found out I took his virginity - something I told myself I would never do to somebody - and he had had a girlfriend at the time and left her to be with me. Our relationship was miserable, barely lasted, and I wish I had been a stronger person at the time to tell these people to fuck off. I tried very hard to feel a connection to him, I tried everything I could to forge one and I couldn't. So, I broke it off. He didn't speak to me for three months.

So, that's how I gave my virginity and took a virginity. I wish I had waited. I wish George hadn't have been such a tool and had waited for his own girlfriend, who he later went back to. Basically, I think losing your virginity should be like getting a tattoo. Think about it, think about it hard and for a long time and remember that this memory, and this person, is going to be a part of you for the rest of your life. Make it worth it. Don't lose your virginity because you don't want to be the last one left, or because you just want to start having sex, as opposed to being in a relationship or love. Do it because it means something, because no matter what, it's going to be a meaningful moment that you have to carry forever. Don't rush into it.

Virginity?

By Glitterbella

Not important in my book, to be honest. I didn't think much about it when I had it, and I felt the same after loosing it. It was something to get rid of, and not look back. And until now, besides a few drunken moments with friends, I really can't say that I have thought much about since.

I barely remember it, to be blunt, I know I was 16, I believe he was 22. It was the only time we had sex.

I remember the bare mattress, that he loved me, and that I thought him a fool. He was caring, and gentle, but we were abruptly (and quickly- by which I mean maybe 2 thrusts) interrupted by his mother coming home. After franticly throwing on clothes, I remember going to the bathroom, where the unflushed toilet was littered with cigarette butts. I recall going to a friends birthday party later that night and not being able to tell her because her parents were in the room. A few days later, I asked my Doctor for Depo Provra, and at the same time asked her if it counted.

I broke up with him less then 2 weeks later.

The next time I thought about virginity was when I started dating a guy who was a virgin. He said he was ok with the fact that I was not a virgin (a lie, as he would throw it in my face anytime we fought.) Within a month of us dating, I took his virginity. I don't remember the specifics, except that it happened near Valentines day, it was the only time we attempted safe sex, and it lasted longer then expected. And was more emo then when I lost mine. He cried, I'm pretty sure.

I don't know why I didn't consider it important. Maybe because in my Mothers' attempt at giving me a practical sexual education (Thanks Mum!) she didn't mention virginity AT ALL, which, as a she is a religious woman (much more then me, but much less then her Mother) is sort of shocking, now that I think about it. She didn't talk about marriage at all, as far as I recall, just gave me the book to look over myself, and explained somethings about pregnancy. She also, at some point told me it was “ok to touch myself, but only in private.” I think that comment stemmed from spending to much time in the bathroom (reading, no doubt, haha.) Best advice she's ever given :)

Virginity. The virgin. The Virgo (ME!)

BY XTC

Oh, the virgin. Just hearing that word sends off countless societal clichés. In today’s world, in many cases, virginity does not appear to be a very big deal. It’s moreso... a disposable inconvenience. However, throughout history, virginity is something that has been both glorified and honoured.

In relation to last week’s blog, I do not believe that virginity is something that should be saved for one particular person as some form of a “gift” to them. This virginity is YOURS girls, yours! When and if you chose to lose it, it should be something that is for yourself, not anybody else.

Throughout high school, I was always known as “the virgin”. Coming from a city that has the highest teen pregnancy rate in comparison to the population in all of Canada, being a virgin was not exactly a common occurrence. In fact, one of my worst mid-teen memories involves a friend of mine telling me that if I went to university a virgin, everybody was going to laugh at me.

Now, I was not opposed to the idea of having sex. In all honesty, the last thing that I wanted to do was save myself for that perfect guy. I was far too petrified of waiting and then just getting played or being hurt in the end. I suppose that sometimes people are afraid to treasure something in fear that they may lose that treasure. My ideal situation was to lose it to somebody who I was, of course, sexually attracted to, and trusted, but was merely just a friend; no commitment or expectations.

That certain ideal guy just never came around during my younger years. I thought that I had found him once, but that sort of fell through in a matter that would turn out to be slightly tragic.

Eventually, the opportunity did arise. Following a Cancer Bats concert I went to go hang out with a friend who I used to have a tad bit of a crush on and hadn’t seen in quite a long time. That was the night. And trust me; it was not anything close to a fairy tale.

There were a number of things that went wrong. So, I feel that the only proper way of acknowledging them is by making a list of the ones which I clearly remember (compare this to David Letterman if you wish):

10. Not having any control whatsoever.
9. His temporary roommate (who years later turned out to be a total douche) drunkenly barging into the room during foreplay and demanding to watch TV.
8. Having to leave to travel to another province for a very Christian family wedding almost immediately afterward.
7. The uncomfortable pain.
6. Missing a period/spotting.
5. Mr. FirstTime not being able to keep it up.
4. Not seeing him again until about one year later.
3. The condom being way too big.
2. Having sex again approximately one week later and realizing that the virginity may have not been completely broken afterall...
1. Hannah Montana on in the background.

With all of this being said, I still do not completely regret my decision. It was what it was. At least I can look back on it and not feel heartbreak, or any feeling or betrayal.

Abstinence Makes the Heart...

By Disco

You decide. I have toyed with abstinence in my time. After I lost my virginity - more on that next Sunday - I abstained from sexual activity for another year and a half or so before I ventured into oral and digital sex. I did not have full on sex for more than two years after I lost my virginity.

I am currently not - by the strictest definitions - celibate. I maintain a cyber/phone sex relationship with a certain someone I am advised against maintaining a sexual relationship with - more on that another time, as well - and I have only gone about a couple weeks without physical sex.

As plainly seen by my quick reversion back to celibacy after I lost my virginity, I wish I had waited longer before I had popped my cherry. I have also had a very difficult relationship with sex since I had been molested just before losing my virginity - the combination of events and the subsequent fuck-with-your-mindedness left me feeling very, very negatively toward my sexuality. I was so afraid that someone would use me for that and not actually care about me. I thought for years that someone being sexually attracted to you was bad. I honestly thought it was an awful thing to have happen to you.

I had fantasies about finding the perfect mate who would never want to touch me, and we could go lay in a field a reasonable distance apart and stare at the stars and talk... Seriously, those were my fantasies. When I was in relationships, I thought it was falling apart if the person wanted me sexually. It wasn't the relationship I wanted. For a good while I thought I was asexual, and maybe I was. Celibacy was my dream.

I have a difficult relationship with that now. I like sex, when it's good. I like to masturbate. I like men. And women. I like it all. It has much to do with my last boyfriend who was very, very instrumental in teaching me that my sexuality is OK, and his being sexually attracted to me was an OK thing. At the beginning of our relationship, if he touched me sexually without warning me, I would burst into tears. I would break down. By the end of our relationship, he could do anything he wanted to me. I trusted him, but more importantly, I trusted myself. I trusted that I was strong enough to be a sexual person and that my sexuality was not a threat to my own happiness. It could very much be a part of my happiness and my becoming a whole person.

For these reasons, sex to me is a highly - I'm going to say - sacred thing. Not sacred as in wait until marriage, or even a serious relationship, but sacred as in only do it if it contributes to your wholeness or your happiness and always be present and in control. I think this starts in and mostly falls into the realm of masturbation - everyone should learn to please themselves to points of incredible ecstasy and learn to be a whole sexual human being alone before they begin to branch out into activity with others. That's my opinion. So, if you require moments of celibacy to fully understand what your sexual nature is and how it contributes to your identity, then I thoroughly support that.

Celibacy, how I hate thee...

By Glitterbella

I'd never thought much about celibacy before recently, having been sexually active for most of the last six years or so. God that makes me feel old, thinking about it that way. And sort of slutty. But I'm not.

Currently, I have been celibate for nine months. While some of that time was "recovery"from a not so smart decision, some of it was because I've decided I don't want to waste my time on bad sex. I'm now willing to wait to find the right person and the right moment. That may seem sort of sappy, but seriously, I've had some bad sex, and I don't want to again. I'm not looking for an emotional connection, necessarily, but I want someone who can give as good as they get, and not be a douche about it the next day. And so far, one thing i've realized is that guys are pretty douche-y when it comes to strong minded sexual women. Which sucks when your a woman who knows what she wants and what she'll do to get it.

I sort of feel better about being celibate now that Lady Gaga came out and said she was. If she's ok with it, I can be as well. Although i do disagree with some of her points, such as this line here :

"But it's not really cool any more to have sex all the time. It's cooler to be strong and independent."

That sort of makes it sound like she thinks you can't be strong and independent when you are having sex. That I definitely don't agree with, and hope that I misunderstood her meaning.

This doesn't mean I'm waiting until marriage to have sex again, (The complete opposite in fact- I'd never get married without taking him for a test drive! Many, many test drives :D) it means I'm not going to jump on the first dick I get a chance with. That just makes things difficult. Been there, done that, got the STD.

Wilkommen, Bienvenue, Welcome...

...to the blog of the Three Sexketeers. We are a group of three delicious single women intent on whetting our, and your, appetite for pleasure. We are here to discuss our opinions on and celebrate the mélange of sexual thrills available in the world and to share our own personal sexcapades. No rules. No judgment. Just the naked truth.


We shall be known here by our terribly fun and equally tacky pseudonyms: Disco, Glitterbella and XTC. Each week we shall pick a topic - everything from abstinence to hardcore BDSM - and discuss our varying opinions on our chosen days: XTC Wednesdays, Glitterbella Fridays, and Disco Sundays. Sprinkled throughout our carnal discourse will be stories of our own true-to-life sex adventures, posted once we've recovered our bearings - and clothes.


Before we invite you into our beds and heads, first we'd like you to get to know us a little bit...


Disco is a 20 year old bisexual woman, recently single from a long-term relationship, moving to the big city. She is intent on making the next year of her life as satisfying as possible, in every way. A victim of molestation in her early teens, Disco has only recently reclaimed the power of her sexuality and intends to celebrate it, not fear it, from now on. She is an incurable romantic but also much kinkier than she generally likes to admit. She loves music, film, art, pop culture, fashion and massaging showerheads.


Glitterbella is a 21 year old sort of maybe possibly bisexual but definitely curious woman. Single after a long term relationship with her high school sweetheart, she has made some disastrous choices when it comes to the opposite sex (and the same!) but hopes to make some better ones soon. She also tends to fall in and out of "like" far, far to easily but is way to cynical for "love" anytime soon. She loves reading , writing, sexy outfits, and an open mind.


XTC is a 19 year old woman who has never had a long-term relationship and is still coming to terms with understanding her sexuality and desires. She is a university student who studies society and plans on discovering as much as the world as possible. XTC is very open-minded and willing to try almost anything once. She loves porn (probably more than some men), anything that is battery-operated and animals, but only in a very NON-sexual way.


This Week's Topic is Celibacy

Waiting by XTC

The vow of celibacy is one that has always intrigued me, far before I became sexually active. I believe that it all began while watching Entertainment Tonight with my mother. Jessica Simpson was doing an interview, discussing her upcoming marriage and her feelings about "saving herself" for her wedding night. I believe that she described it as "the perfect gift" a girl could give a man. Well, we all know how that ended.

Religious purposes aside, I believe that one's wedding night should be one of passion and romance and sheer pleasure. It is meant to be the climax of your love for one another. Although "gift-giving" may... show love...? I can't imagine it necessarily being the most enjoyable experience. At least, that's not how I remember it going down.

Shouldn't an individual be able to experience their options and learn what they want before committing to a lifelong flavour? I sure as hell know that I want to. Suuuuuure maybe the waiting causes you to develop a more intellectual or romantic connection, since physical intimacy is not in the picture, but isn't it also possible that you may unintentionally rush the development of your emotions and your relationship in order to get to that oh-so-desired point? We misunderstand our own emotions all of the time. We're confusing creatures us humans. But when you are in the act of sex - not much gets more real.

Outside of the serious relationship context, celibacy also appears to serve almost no purpose to me. From personal experience, I enjoy sex much more when I actually know the person. I think that the comfort level and anticipation of the act adds to one's arousal at that time. However, there is a difference between knowing your partner and making a vow of celibacy. There have been multiple situations where I consciously chose to not engage in sex with the man whom I was interested in, for various reasons, to.. say... "wait." It did not end very well. Too much anticipation leads to nervousness and broken expectations.

For all of you sensitive souls who are afraid of giving it up too quickly and getting your heart broken, I have to argue, wouldn't it hurt even more of you waited for so long only to have it broken immediately following anyways? Of course, this is a personal decision. All of our emotions run different and we have various requirements to fulfill our happiness.

Personally, I have not had sex in four months now. I can sincerely tell you that going without it sucks ass.