Virginity. The virgin. The Virgo (ME!)

BY XTC

Oh, the virgin. Just hearing that word sends off countless societal clichés. In today’s world, in many cases, virginity does not appear to be a very big deal. It’s moreso... a disposable inconvenience. However, throughout history, virginity is something that has been both glorified and honoured.

In relation to last week’s blog, I do not believe that virginity is something that should be saved for one particular person as some form of a “gift” to them. This virginity is YOURS girls, yours! When and if you chose to lose it, it should be something that is for yourself, not anybody else.

Throughout high school, I was always known as “the virgin”. Coming from a city that has the highest teen pregnancy rate in comparison to the population in all of Canada, being a virgin was not exactly a common occurrence. In fact, one of my worst mid-teen memories involves a friend of mine telling me that if I went to university a virgin, everybody was going to laugh at me.

Now, I was not opposed to the idea of having sex. In all honesty, the last thing that I wanted to do was save myself for that perfect guy. I was far too petrified of waiting and then just getting played or being hurt in the end. I suppose that sometimes people are afraid to treasure something in fear that they may lose that treasure. My ideal situation was to lose it to somebody who I was, of course, sexually attracted to, and trusted, but was merely just a friend; no commitment or expectations.

That certain ideal guy just never came around during my younger years. I thought that I had found him once, but that sort of fell through in a matter that would turn out to be slightly tragic.

Eventually, the opportunity did arise. Following a Cancer Bats concert I went to go hang out with a friend who I used to have a tad bit of a crush on and hadn’t seen in quite a long time. That was the night. And trust me; it was not anything close to a fairy tale.

There were a number of things that went wrong. So, I feel that the only proper way of acknowledging them is by making a list of the ones which I clearly remember (compare this to David Letterman if you wish):

10. Not having any control whatsoever.
9. His temporary roommate (who years later turned out to be a total douche) drunkenly barging into the room during foreplay and demanding to watch TV.
8. Having to leave to travel to another province for a very Christian family wedding almost immediately afterward.
7. The uncomfortable pain.
6. Missing a period/spotting.
5. Mr. FirstTime not being able to keep it up.
4. Not seeing him again until about one year later.
3. The condom being way too big.
2. Having sex again approximately one week later and realizing that the virginity may have not been completely broken afterall...
1. Hannah Montana on in the background.

With all of this being said, I still do not completely regret my decision. It was what it was. At least I can look back on it and not feel heartbreak, or any feeling or betrayal.