Jazz Hands.

by Disco

Tuesday I went out with a man named Tony, a jazz musician around 25 years old. We had spoken quite a bit online before he asked me out, and set up a date for the Thursday previous but circumstances caused us to postpone. In the days between, we got closer, and told each other some secrets. Then, we met.

Tony was - in looks, in stature, in pretentiousness, in every way - an echo of an ex boyfriend.

An exboyfriend who also happened to be named Tony.

And who happened to have been from a very sordid period of my life. I do not look upon memories with Original Tony with happiness, or with even romantic inclinations. Just... shame and sadness.

I tried to give New Tony a chance. But I wasn't having it. But for some reason, despite all that... I fucked him. Maybe it was because Original Tony had had a traumatic experience and never let me go all the way, and I wanted to finally complete that goal - get Original Tony to get carried away enough to sleep with me. New Tony even had a very similar penis - uncircumcised, about five inches, flat, almost. Tony wasn't good at findng my clit, the way this guy was (that guy shall from now on be referred to as Hugh,) either. Tony begged me to let him not use a condom - and I refused to agree to such a thing, I made him wear one. I should have shut down the whole shebang then because that was a major turn-off. Several times throughout he made little hints about how it would be better if he wasn't wearing a condom. Please. Like I care about your popping one off more than I care about my general health and life. There was also this funny lack of passion going on. I love sex when you both get into it so much you don't even notice anything, or you don't care - that something fell over, that your head is hitting the wall, blah blah. It wasn't like that. It was, like, clinical... Finally, I told him to just stop and he could jack off and come anywhere on my body he wanted, below the face because I just was not interested anymore. So he did. Then invited himself to stay over.

Thankfully, whoever lives above me was making such a ruckus, he finally left. The next day I told him I wasn't interested.

The whole affair reminded me of that scene in When Harry Met Sally... where Harry is telling Sally about his first date post-Helen, and how awful it went and his panic attack and she comforts him by saying it might be a long time before they find somebody they like, and even longer before they find somebody they can go to bed with - and he says "Oh, I went to bed with her."

I don't know when it happened that I turned into a man, but I'm not really enjoying it. I keep wanting to go on dates because I don't want to be the pathetic celibate girl that just waits for her love to come back - her love who might not come back, and might doubly not come back if she turns into that pathetic celibate girl who can't live without him. I don't want to not be able to live without Jack. But, I also don't want to live without him. So I keep going on these dates, but these dates just remind me that I don't want to be dating. I sleep with people to get the experience I used to be afraid I would miss if Jack and I worked out, but I realise the experience isn't as good as being with him was.

Wisdom Teeth SUCK

By XTC

On behalf of all three of us I apologize to anybody who may be disappointed by our lack of bloggage this week.

I, myself, have just had my wisdom teeth surgically removed. My lovely combination of painkillers made me a bit too, in all honesty, high, to co-ordinate an appropriate topic of any sort with my co-bloggers. But we will be back and kickin' ass ASAP, promise!

As for my progress, it sucks, not going to lie. I ended up getting an infection in my gums. I just want to get better, and be able to talk again. And go out! I think I am going to journey soooomewhere tomorrow, even if it has to be silent. Spending the day in bed just isn't working for me anymore.

Worst of all - I can't suck cock for like THREE WEEKS! At least... Like fuck. That's how I get laid!

Wrap It Up

by Disco

Unsafe sex? Oh, my.

Have I had it? Yes. Two guys. One, when I lost my virginity, as we've spoken about. MISTAKE. MIS. TAKE. If I could mulligan that, I totally would.

The other guy was Jack. Jack and I had an interesting issue because he was too big for me and he wasn't buying lubricated condoms so it was a bad issue and there was some tearing. At first I thought I had an STD because I was bleeding after sex every time, so I went to the clinic and she tested me but also informed me I had been torn in a few places and that was causing the bleeding. The tests came back negative. She told me to buy lube, so I did.

After that, I'm not 100% sure why the condoms disappeared, but I think I associated them with the discomfort. And we were exclusive by that point, both tested, and I was on the pill. So there was a level of protection going on. After Jack and I broke up, of course, we reverted back to condom use as that promise of exclusivity was gone.

But with the exception of these two gentlemen - one a mistake, one a thoroughly discussed decision with much careful planning and a lot of him asking 'Did you take your pill today?' - I have always had any man wrap it. Now I am not so far as to asking a man to wrap it for a blowjob, although perhaps I should be now if I am going to be doing more of a casual thing... Safety is of the utmost importance, especially in this day & age. I am lucky I've gotten away with it in the past. But I won't bet on luck in the future.

Unsafe sex? Sooooo Guilty

By Glitterbella

From the time i lost my virginity to my most recent sexcapades, I've never successfully use condoms. Like i said, Guilty. When I lost it, I didn't really know better. The next guy, who I really can't believe I didn't get an STD from, I don't really have an excuse for, except I reaaaally wanted to sleep with him. Third Guy, I was in a long term relationship with. And we DID try. But whenever we did, the condom would pop off. Couldn't find a bigger size, and we were exclusive (And he was a virgin - I got tested) so we stopped.

Fast forward 2 plus years. Relationship ends. And I hook up with my "Mistake from last summer" It was delicious never-ending constant sex. Condoms just didn't work with the way we had sex. The only reason he was a mistake is because he is that long term ex's best friend and roommate. Yeah. like I said mistake. Definitely my favourite mistake . Two bad it couldn't last more then two weekends.

My mistake from last fall….The biggest one, in my opinion.I'll skip the details, but alcohol was involved, condoms were not. it was a one night thing, by my choice. I don't like being used. This is the source of the STD I mentioned previously. He won't admit it, but the timing fits, and he lied about his test. The test takes five days. He said he got his results the same day. I call bullshit on that.

And finally, the mistake from 3 weeks ago. I remember asking if he had one, because we had discussed it previously, and we had agreed that we would use one, and it was also decided that he was going to bring it. He didn't. But stupid me, He was a notch I reallllly wanted on my bedpost. Shame it wasn't any good.

Now, in my defence. I am on Depo Provera and have been since just after loosing my virginity. The chances of me getting pregnant are nil. The STD thing….I've learned my lesson (after several lectures from Disco and XTC) and bought condoms for the first time. I will use them for ALL hook ups. But if i'm in an exclucive relationship again...I really can't say I will.

*Boy update*

3,2,1. I am down to ONE boy. Pintsize (Now re-named to Jbear, because I call things I like bear - Just ask my Cat, who must be pretty confused on if he is a cat, bear or man) definately has changed my opinion on him...He now reminds me a lot of "my favorite mistake," ,so theres definately some hope there. And DAMN can that man sing. - G

Boned.

by Disco

Last night I got boned. This was my first full on sex since Jack, the ex. I feel two ways about it, but first let me tell you how it all went down.

Remember that guy who gave me three orgasms and didn't ask for anything in return? Well we got to talking again last night and he invited me out to ice cream with him (aww) so, you know. Three orgasms, little to nothing needed in return... I went. We hung out, played a couple games, walked around, had a beer, and then finally made it back to his place. We watched Youtube videos and cuddled for a while until the inevitable happened.

Making out.

And then... he put his hand between my legs. And I spread, baby, easy like margarine. But somewhere between that, a bit of sucking, and some fingering, he was fucking my hands when I asked him - quite on this week's topic - 'Do you have a condom?' I don't know why it was so easy to say because I thought I would wait longer before sleeping with a new person - but he went and got a condom and then slid right inside.

He was long. It hurt a bit. But I asked him to slow down, we changed up positions a few times, and it was fine. And kind of hot as he was fully naked but I still had my dress on, which somehow made me feel in control. He came before me but pulled out and promptly made sure that was rectified - ahh, sweet orgasm. We cuddled for about 10 minutes after, making out periodically, before I got up and he drove me home.

Today, like I said, I feel two ways. One, I feel empowered, relaxed and freaking awesome. Two, I feel like I betrayed Jack somehow... Like I didn't wait long enough in order to prove my love... But I got to bang a British boy!

Wrap yo' Willy o' XTC's Gon' Getcha! Not really... Though..

By XTC

Unprotected sex - Who hasn't done it? At one point or another? If you've always worn one and popped one, well, good for you. Despite what sex ed class may teach you, staying completely protected is not always as easy as it seems.

I, personally, don't find asking for a condom unsexyyyyy... but sometimes when you are caught up in the moment it just doesn't quite come out. Unfortunately, the science-guys have failed to come up with an alternative form of protection that also protects against STIs other than condoms, so I guess we are stuck with them, as awkward as they may be... Lets face it, skin on skin is just SO much hotter. It is a whole other level of intimacy, really, when you truly think about it.

Whenever I do become regularly sexually active I think that it would be fun to maybe try to make condoms more fun. I used to think that condoms that were ribbed, or coloured, or glowed in the dark, etc, were silly... but now that I have grown up more, I understand that it isn't just a dumb marketing scheme... a lot of it is to make people more interested in using them. You've gotta mix it up sometimes!

A lot of my friends think that I'm weird when I say that I would probably rather have sex with a guy than give him a blow job. I have absolutely nothing against giving head and I know that sex is a lot more personal in many ways, but when it comes to preventing illness, sex is technically just as, if not more, safe. With sex, it is at least a LOT more easier for the man to agree to wrapping his willy. How many people use rubber when sucking cock? Honestly? And remember, STIs very easily CAN be spread orally. Babies, however, can not.

The good news is that if you are in a steady relationship where both partners have been tested for any infections or diseases, and preventing pregnancy is the only concern, there are lots of alternative birth control methods. One that has been growing in popularity is a ring that a woman can insert into her vagina that injects the birth control hormone into her directly... but yeah, um, no thanks.

Ever since grade 6 I have been on the birth control pill, for health purposes, so thankfully obtaining that was never a hassle for me when I became sexually active. One issue though, is that most women do not realize just how unreliable it can be. Yes, the box says apx. 99% effective or whatever, but that is only when taken on a completely consistent basis. In other words, if you miss a pill, or are as much as even an hour late for a pill, your birth control may become ineffective! Because in that slight moment where the hormone was not adequately injected into you, your egg may have become pregnancy-ready!

Condoms are also not as reliable as some individuals may assume. Although they are also incredibly effective against pregnancy and STIs, this is only the STIs that they are built to protect against. Infections that can be spread via skin that is outside of the area that the condom covers can easily be caught by a partner; since the condom is not covering that area, it is utterly ineffective. Infections such as this include both public lice and herpes, among others.

Due to these facts, I suggest that when you are in a situation where security is not 100% certain, you implement at least two methods of birth control. For me, it is usually the pill and a condom. Although, I will admit that I am clearlyyyyy not perfect and have had sex without on a condom.

The first time that I clearly remember having sex without a condom was slightly horrific. We switched from vaginal to anal then back to vaginal, which is a big vaginal hygiene no-no... I didn't know this at the time, being younger and less educated. Within three or so days, I became very itchy. I was incredibly worried that I had contracted an STI; the boy who I had slept with had been with quite a few gals, from what I knew. It was definitely a panic-mode time.

To make it even worse, my mother worked AT my doctor's office! So if I was to go in and get a pap test, she would be the one who got the results! Confidentiality aside, that was her job. So I had to go to the local clinic. It wasn't the best experience... in fact, it was horrific. I had only had sex a very very limited number of times and was uncomfortable and nervous... it was so painful, I nearly cried. A nurse had to actually, like, hold my legs down... The results came back clean though, so yay!

Getting tested IS important. A lot of STIs don't show symptoms. For example, apx. 70some% of women who become infected with Chlamydia show absolutely no signs or symptoms, however, the disease still lives on. It can be spread to others and has the same internal long-term consequences. The numbers are almost just as high for Gonorrhea.

I'm assuming that this is one main reason why so many STIs are not detected and are spread so rapidly. They don't teach this stuff in sex ed class, even though I definitely think that they should!

As for pregnancy, well, I honestly am not sure WHY that is so high... especially in this city, bleh. Other than the misuse of birth control and condoms, I'm going to assume that the issue is more-so of a social one. Thattttt issue is a whole other blog.

All in all, have safe sex folks! Do it. Yup. Don't learn your lesson the hard way because sometimes, there is no going back. Remember that. But also remember that you are human, and we all fuck up.

PS: You CAN catch STIs from toilet seats, so get tested even if you haven't had sex in awhile. BLEH. I know it sounds like a myth, but it's true y'all! I feel slightly nauseated now at the thought of that, ginger ale and Big Brother time!

A Break Down and a Pick Up

By XTC

Alright! So, I owe you all an official explanation on what the heck happened to me. Well, as Disco and Glitterbella know, I have felt kind of... down... lately. I have a lot of personal issues occurring including my mother not having a job and being absolutely broke and having breakdowns in front of me, my father not talking to me, and my aunt being very sick. Sometimes I feel very trapped inside all of it, like there is no escape.

I began hanging out with Mr. Schoolgirl-Crush. You already know how I felt about that. Anyways, it didn’t end too well. I told him that he was cute and he replied with an explanation as to how he does not like me that way. I was sort of incredibly confused considering every time we hung out he made a move on me. I could understand him telling me that he didn’t want a relationship, but he seemed to not want anything at all.

This shouldn’t have affected me as much as it did... I should have immediately cut my ties and deemed it his loss. But considering my vulnerable state and how much I was completely crushing on him, I got very upset. Every guy that I genuinely like tends to never like me back, so I was very discouraged. I did not understand why this had to happen with him too, let alone the night before I went away on a trip that I had been looking forward to for a very long time.

We ended up getting into a big argument, which I was afraid may have potentially ruined any future chance with him, or even any chances for a friendship. He had a lot of stuff going on at the time and we were both very emotional for some reason and discussing anything at that time was simply a bad idea. Thankfully though, since I have returned from my trip he has spoken to me and we’ve made some small talk. We haven’t hung out, I’m not sure when we will or if we should just yet, but he at least seems to be quite open to the idea, which at least provides some comfort in the fact that I didn’t completely fuck it ALL up. I enjoyed hanging out with him and smoking up and talking, sexually or not.

At the time of our argument though, after my breakdown, all that was left for me to do was to not think about him, to try to distract myself. Clearly, nothing that I could say or do would make anything any better at that moment, we both needed to just have some time to calm down. So after some moping and such, I went on my little trip with the intention of having a hella wicked time.

I bought lots of cute things, including some dresses which were muchly needed. The concert was absolutely AMAZING. I tried some new and interesting food, and of course, got to spend some time with the ladies.

The part of the trip that would interest you, however, is a boy who I met there. For as long as I can remember consistently using MSN there is a guy who has been on it, who I talk to on a rather regular basis, and is from the area in which I was vacationing to. I planned on hanging out with him once last summer but when I was around I never found the opportunity. So this time I was determined to finally do so!

So on a more quiet evening where we were all just sort of doing our own thing and relaxing, I arranged a hang-out session. This concerned Disco and Glitterbella some; perhaps it wasn’t the MOST intelligent thing to do, but at the moment I was wickedly exhausted and just wanted to make the most out of every moment.

As soon as we saw each other he gave me a hug, then we proceeded to do a little bit of sightseeing. After awhile, we ended up at his place and took his dog for a walk, during which he held my hand. It was then that I was pretty much like, “Yup, we’re gonna bang.”

And so we did. Of course! It wasn’t immediate... there was a fair amount of cuddling and foreplay that proceeded it. But once it did begin to happen, I felt completely into it. I wanted to spend daysssss in his bed, it was soooo comfortable. We cleaned up together, he let me use his mouthwash and wear his housecoat, sort of made me feel like an old married couple... haha.

We proceeded to have sex two more times though. That was sort of my fault... I got into the mood and was SO not ready to sleep! So I was showing him the toys that I had bought earlier that day at an amazing sex shop I visited, and things just proceeded from there. Using a vibrator during sex = the BEST idea EVER. I actually had an orgasm, which is something that I had never done with a guy before.

The sex itself was very enjoyable. Lots of different positions and I actually enjoyed being on top, which is something that I usually feel a little uncomfortable with. I just didn’t really care with him. He is quite silly but also quite sweet and flattering. I’m not used to men telling me that I am beautiful or anything like that.

For once, I also slept well. I normally cannot sleep when I am sharing a bed with somebody, let alone a guy, let alone if we are too close to each other. When I realized that there was no way I was going to be able to stay awake any longer, I chose my favourite pillow and lay down. He told me that I could switch it with the pillow beside it, so that I’d be closer to him. He then pulled my head on top of his chest and held me tight and I fell asleep almost immediately. I remember changing positions once, when I woke up like that and my side hurt a little, so I turned, and he turned too, still holding me, and I fell right back to sleep. This was all quite surprising.

All in all, it was a very enjoyable experience. He spent a lot of time admiring my body, which made me feel a little insecure at first but turned out to be very flattering and empowering. There were lots of little non-sexual kisses. On the drive back into town he held my hand or had his hand on my thigh almost the entire time. I hadn’t just randomly held hands with a guy in a very long time prior to him, so it was a little weird.

Leaving to go home completely sucked. I absolutely adore that city, I feel so much more at home there. I have talked to him a couple of times since I returned home though. The first time he told me to come back like twice, and sent me a picture that he took of us together, which I found to be quite cute. The second time, he didn’t really have much to say at all... So I’m a little confused.

I am not looking for a long distance relationship but it would be nice to know that he likes me, and to have the possibility of seeing him again if I ever return to town. I guess we will just have to wait and see. For future reference, I am going to call him Alejandro. This is not to imply anything specific, but the next morning while we were driving this song came on and he said that it was for me, since I was seeing Lady Gaga live that night. So, yeah, it’s easy to remember!

Anyways! I think that that is pretty much the summary of it all... Time to watch True Blood! <3