Wrap It Up

by Disco

Unsafe sex? Oh, my.

Have I had it? Yes. Two guys. One, when I lost my virginity, as we've spoken about. MISTAKE. MIS. TAKE. If I could mulligan that, I totally would.

The other guy was Jack. Jack and I had an interesting issue because he was too big for me and he wasn't buying lubricated condoms so it was a bad issue and there was some tearing. At first I thought I had an STD because I was bleeding after sex every time, so I went to the clinic and she tested me but also informed me I had been torn in a few places and that was causing the bleeding. The tests came back negative. She told me to buy lube, so I did.

After that, I'm not 100% sure why the condoms disappeared, but I think I associated them with the discomfort. And we were exclusive by that point, both tested, and I was on the pill. So there was a level of protection going on. After Jack and I broke up, of course, we reverted back to condom use as that promise of exclusivity was gone.

But with the exception of these two gentlemen - one a mistake, one a thoroughly discussed decision with much careful planning and a lot of him asking 'Did you take your pill today?' - I have always had any man wrap it. Now I am not so far as to asking a man to wrap it for a blowjob, although perhaps I should be now if I am going to be doing more of a casual thing... Safety is of the utmost importance, especially in this day & age. I am lucky I've gotten away with it in the past. But I won't bet on luck in the future.

Unsafe sex? Sooooo Guilty

By Glitterbella

From the time i lost my virginity to my most recent sexcapades, I've never successfully use condoms. Like i said, Guilty. When I lost it, I didn't really know better. The next guy, who I really can't believe I didn't get an STD from, I don't really have an excuse for, except I reaaaally wanted to sleep with him. Third Guy, I was in a long term relationship with. And we DID try. But whenever we did, the condom would pop off. Couldn't find a bigger size, and we were exclusive (And he was a virgin - I got tested) so we stopped.

Fast forward 2 plus years. Relationship ends. And I hook up with my "Mistake from last summer" It was delicious never-ending constant sex. Condoms just didn't work with the way we had sex. The only reason he was a mistake is because he is that long term ex's best friend and roommate. Yeah. like I said mistake. Definitely my favourite mistake . Two bad it couldn't last more then two weekends.

My mistake from last fall….The biggest one, in my opinion.I'll skip the details, but alcohol was involved, condoms were not. it was a one night thing, by my choice. I don't like being used. This is the source of the STD I mentioned previously. He won't admit it, but the timing fits, and he lied about his test. The test takes five days. He said he got his results the same day. I call bullshit on that.

And finally, the mistake from 3 weeks ago. I remember asking if he had one, because we had discussed it previously, and we had agreed that we would use one, and it was also decided that he was going to bring it. He didn't. But stupid me, He was a notch I reallllly wanted on my bedpost. Shame it wasn't any good.

Now, in my defence. I am on Depo Provera and have been since just after loosing my virginity. The chances of me getting pregnant are nil. The STD thing….I've learned my lesson (after several lectures from Disco and XTC) and bought condoms for the first time. I will use them for ALL hook ups. But if i'm in an exclucive relationship again...I really can't say I will.

*Boy update*

3,2,1. I am down to ONE boy. Pintsize (Now re-named to Jbear, because I call things I like bear - Just ask my Cat, who must be pretty confused on if he is a cat, bear or man) definately has changed my opinion on him...He now reminds me a lot of "my favorite mistake," ,so theres definately some hope there. And DAMN can that man sing. - G

Wrap yo' Willy o' XTC's Gon' Getcha! Not really... Though..

By XTC

Unprotected sex - Who hasn't done it? At one point or another? If you've always worn one and popped one, well, good for you. Despite what sex ed class may teach you, staying completely protected is not always as easy as it seems.

I, personally, don't find asking for a condom unsexyyyyy... but sometimes when you are caught up in the moment it just doesn't quite come out. Unfortunately, the science-guys have failed to come up with an alternative form of protection that also protects against STIs other than condoms, so I guess we are stuck with them, as awkward as they may be... Lets face it, skin on skin is just SO much hotter. It is a whole other level of intimacy, really, when you truly think about it.

Whenever I do become regularly sexually active I think that it would be fun to maybe try to make condoms more fun. I used to think that condoms that were ribbed, or coloured, or glowed in the dark, etc, were silly... but now that I have grown up more, I understand that it isn't just a dumb marketing scheme... a lot of it is to make people more interested in using them. You've gotta mix it up sometimes!

A lot of my friends think that I'm weird when I say that I would probably rather have sex with a guy than give him a blow job. I have absolutely nothing against giving head and I know that sex is a lot more personal in many ways, but when it comes to preventing illness, sex is technically just as, if not more, safe. With sex, it is at least a LOT more easier for the man to agree to wrapping his willy. How many people use rubber when sucking cock? Honestly? And remember, STIs very easily CAN be spread orally. Babies, however, can not.

The good news is that if you are in a steady relationship where both partners have been tested for any infections or diseases, and preventing pregnancy is the only concern, there are lots of alternative birth control methods. One that has been growing in popularity is a ring that a woman can insert into her vagina that injects the birth control hormone into her directly... but yeah, um, no thanks.

Ever since grade 6 I have been on the birth control pill, for health purposes, so thankfully obtaining that was never a hassle for me when I became sexually active. One issue though, is that most women do not realize just how unreliable it can be. Yes, the box says apx. 99% effective or whatever, but that is only when taken on a completely consistent basis. In other words, if you miss a pill, or are as much as even an hour late for a pill, your birth control may become ineffective! Because in that slight moment where the hormone was not adequately injected into you, your egg may have become pregnancy-ready!

Condoms are also not as reliable as some individuals may assume. Although they are also incredibly effective against pregnancy and STIs, this is only the STIs that they are built to protect against. Infections that can be spread via skin that is outside of the area that the condom covers can easily be caught by a partner; since the condom is not covering that area, it is utterly ineffective. Infections such as this include both public lice and herpes, among others.

Due to these facts, I suggest that when you are in a situation where security is not 100% certain, you implement at least two methods of birth control. For me, it is usually the pill and a condom. Although, I will admit that I am clearlyyyyy not perfect and have had sex without on a condom.

The first time that I clearly remember having sex without a condom was slightly horrific. We switched from vaginal to anal then back to vaginal, which is a big vaginal hygiene no-no... I didn't know this at the time, being younger and less educated. Within three or so days, I became very itchy. I was incredibly worried that I had contracted an STI; the boy who I had slept with had been with quite a few gals, from what I knew. It was definitely a panic-mode time.

To make it even worse, my mother worked AT my doctor's office! So if I was to go in and get a pap test, she would be the one who got the results! Confidentiality aside, that was her job. So I had to go to the local clinic. It wasn't the best experience... in fact, it was horrific. I had only had sex a very very limited number of times and was uncomfortable and nervous... it was so painful, I nearly cried. A nurse had to actually, like, hold my legs down... The results came back clean though, so yay!

Getting tested IS important. A lot of STIs don't show symptoms. For example, apx. 70some% of women who become infected with Chlamydia show absolutely no signs or symptoms, however, the disease still lives on. It can be spread to others and has the same internal long-term consequences. The numbers are almost just as high for Gonorrhea.

I'm assuming that this is one main reason why so many STIs are not detected and are spread so rapidly. They don't teach this stuff in sex ed class, even though I definitely think that they should!

As for pregnancy, well, I honestly am not sure WHY that is so high... especially in this city, bleh. Other than the misuse of birth control and condoms, I'm going to assume that the issue is more-so of a social one. Thattttt issue is a whole other blog.

All in all, have safe sex folks! Do it. Yup. Don't learn your lesson the hard way because sometimes, there is no going back. Remember that. But also remember that you are human, and we all fuck up.

PS: You CAN catch STIs from toilet seats, so get tested even if you haven't had sex in awhile. BLEH. I know it sounds like a myth, but it's true y'all! I feel slightly nauseated now at the thought of that, ginger ale and Big Brother time!