"Tonight's just one blast from the past after another"

By XTC

Homo-sexuality and bi-sexuality are topics that I became curious about at a relatively early age. I always appreciated the female body, and would commonly look at women that I did not know as a girl. At one point, this slightly worried me. As I grew up and became more informed on such topics, I began to feel comfortable with this.

I am not a lesbian, nor do I even consider myself “bi”... I find women attractive, but I have never felt an urge to actually engage in sexual acts with them or to date them. Dating is something appeals to me only when concerning men.

This was questioned recently. Without getting into a lot of info, I found myself shockingly sexually attracted to a random female television character. I still do not know why. There was just something about her... her voice, her poise; it was just one of those things. I denied this at first, but one night while masturbating I allowed myself to think of her some and it turned me on a lot. Since it was so successful, I have done it on other occasions since then as well.

Although this has caused me to requestion my attraction to women, I still do not imagine myself having sex with a woman, or dating one. However, I do not absolutely rule out the option. Life is very unpredictable.

Like most college girls I have had some slight experimentation with girls. I have kissed almost every single one of my friends, but it was never in an “I want you” type of way. It was usually more so just something to do when you’re bored and drunk and want to be fun and risky.

There is one story though... one story that has to be shared. The same week that I lost my virginity (in fact, the morning of, technically) I went to the province I grew up in for a family wedding. I wanted to catch up with some old friends, so I headed over a day before the rest of my family and stayed at my old best friends’ place. We will call her Mandy.

Mandy failed to tell me that she was a lesbian, prior to my arrival. So much for staying in touch, eh? I just got there and saw her holding hands with a girl and was like, “Well then!” I was happy for her, of course, but just caught a little off guard.

That evening, Mandy invited over some friends for drinks in her basement. A typical girl’s night. The only catch was that all of these girls, liked other girls, and I had no idea. Turns out, the entire party was a ploy to get me hooked up with a girl, we will call her Jenny, who had apparently thought I was cute for awhile.

After a few rounds of truth or dare and way more alcohol than I had ever drank before, I was left alone with Jenny to spend the night in the basement living room. Needless to say, she made some moves. I was not at all into it though... I don’t consider this necessarily a sign that I could never be aroused by a woman... but definitely that woman. Maybe she just wasn’t my type?

A lot of the encounter is blurry. I mainly remember just wanting it to stop. The furthest we got was making out and a bit of fingering. I don’t remember how well the kissing was, but I do recall disliking the finger action. She had long nails and did not know how to work them... ouch. Finally, I got her to stop, and completely passed out. The next morning I had to hungoverly go to my a very Christian family wedding. Good times!

If the opportunity was to arise again, I may go for it. As I stated, I am not opposed to anything, really. So I guess that only time will tell! But if some more girlongirl action DOES happen in my future, I hope that it goes a lot better than in the past.

Once You Go Ass, You Never Go Back

By XTC

I find that one of the very hot or cold topics of human sexuality is anal sex. Some women love it, some are dead set against the idea and find it revolting. I, for one, am very pro-anal freedom!

My first encounter with anal sex was not asked for. It was a... surprise! Quite a painful surprise, which was over with just as quickly as it started.

My second encounter was a bit of an accident. The boy who I was sleeping with, well, he wasn’t the BEST in bed, to say the least. I think that he thought he was pretty darn great, but he didn’t understand that it’s about more than just looking good... if that makes any sense. Anyways, he was just tryin’ to go at ‘er, all hard and porno-style like. But he ended up slipping out and into my ass without even realizing it. I didn’t stop him. It felt kind of good and didn’t hurt too much (he also wasn’t the hugest).

I think that a lot of women try anal, it hurts, and they assume that that is all there is to it. But there really is SO much more. I think that it can be really great once you truly work yourself up to it and adjust.

Anal sex is something that I plan on experimenting with whenever I get the opportunity; I am very open to trying it more seriously. Perhaps with some lube this time though...

Until recently, I had never experimented with anal play on myself. However, not too long ago when I was masturbating I was having a little trouble finishing, for some still unknown reason. I had anal stuff on my mind because I had been discussing it with somebody earlier that evening. So I thought, “What the hell.”

Let me tell you, it definitely worked. I only used one finger, and didn’t even put it in all of the way, or move it much. But just having it there, in combination with my vibrator on my clit, was enough. I ended up getting off rather quickly after that.

Some people may find it a little weird or gross, but I have no problem with it. As long as you’re a hygienic person, of course. It’s all your own body!

I think that I may be developing a bit of an anal fetish now... It’s just soooo much more of a turn on! But I doubt that many men will object to this. I like to think that one of my best features is my ass.

When I get the chance, I would like to purchase some anal toys, even. Maybe a plug... a vibrating plug! Oooooh...

Well, I don’t think that I need to continue much further. You get my point. Go anal!

Wisdom Teeth SUCK

By XTC

On behalf of all three of us I apologize to anybody who may be disappointed by our lack of bloggage this week.

I, myself, have just had my wisdom teeth surgically removed. My lovely combination of painkillers made me a bit too, in all honesty, high, to co-ordinate an appropriate topic of any sort with my co-bloggers. But we will be back and kickin' ass ASAP, promise!

As for my progress, it sucks, not going to lie. I ended up getting an infection in my gums. I just want to get better, and be able to talk again. And go out! I think I am going to journey soooomewhere tomorrow, even if it has to be silent. Spending the day in bed just isn't working for me anymore.

Worst of all - I can't suck cock for like THREE WEEKS! At least... Like fuck. That's how I get laid!

Wrap yo' Willy o' XTC's Gon' Getcha! Not really... Though..

By XTC

Unprotected sex - Who hasn't done it? At one point or another? If you've always worn one and popped one, well, good for you. Despite what sex ed class may teach you, staying completely protected is not always as easy as it seems.

I, personally, don't find asking for a condom unsexyyyyy... but sometimes when you are caught up in the moment it just doesn't quite come out. Unfortunately, the science-guys have failed to come up with an alternative form of protection that also protects against STIs other than condoms, so I guess we are stuck with them, as awkward as they may be... Lets face it, skin on skin is just SO much hotter. It is a whole other level of intimacy, really, when you truly think about it.

Whenever I do become regularly sexually active I think that it would be fun to maybe try to make condoms more fun. I used to think that condoms that were ribbed, or coloured, or glowed in the dark, etc, were silly... but now that I have grown up more, I understand that it isn't just a dumb marketing scheme... a lot of it is to make people more interested in using them. You've gotta mix it up sometimes!

A lot of my friends think that I'm weird when I say that I would probably rather have sex with a guy than give him a blow job. I have absolutely nothing against giving head and I know that sex is a lot more personal in many ways, but when it comes to preventing illness, sex is technically just as, if not more, safe. With sex, it is at least a LOT more easier for the man to agree to wrapping his willy. How many people use rubber when sucking cock? Honestly? And remember, STIs very easily CAN be spread orally. Babies, however, can not.

The good news is that if you are in a steady relationship where both partners have been tested for any infections or diseases, and preventing pregnancy is the only concern, there are lots of alternative birth control methods. One that has been growing in popularity is a ring that a woman can insert into her vagina that injects the birth control hormone into her directly... but yeah, um, no thanks.

Ever since grade 6 I have been on the birth control pill, for health purposes, so thankfully obtaining that was never a hassle for me when I became sexually active. One issue though, is that most women do not realize just how unreliable it can be. Yes, the box says apx. 99% effective or whatever, but that is only when taken on a completely consistent basis. In other words, if you miss a pill, or are as much as even an hour late for a pill, your birth control may become ineffective! Because in that slight moment where the hormone was not adequately injected into you, your egg may have become pregnancy-ready!

Condoms are also not as reliable as some individuals may assume. Although they are also incredibly effective against pregnancy and STIs, this is only the STIs that they are built to protect against. Infections that can be spread via skin that is outside of the area that the condom covers can easily be caught by a partner; since the condom is not covering that area, it is utterly ineffective. Infections such as this include both public lice and herpes, among others.

Due to these facts, I suggest that when you are in a situation where security is not 100% certain, you implement at least two methods of birth control. For me, it is usually the pill and a condom. Although, I will admit that I am clearlyyyyy not perfect and have had sex without on a condom.

The first time that I clearly remember having sex without a condom was slightly horrific. We switched from vaginal to anal then back to vaginal, which is a big vaginal hygiene no-no... I didn't know this at the time, being younger and less educated. Within three or so days, I became very itchy. I was incredibly worried that I had contracted an STI; the boy who I had slept with had been with quite a few gals, from what I knew. It was definitely a panic-mode time.

To make it even worse, my mother worked AT my doctor's office! So if I was to go in and get a pap test, she would be the one who got the results! Confidentiality aside, that was her job. So I had to go to the local clinic. It wasn't the best experience... in fact, it was horrific. I had only had sex a very very limited number of times and was uncomfortable and nervous... it was so painful, I nearly cried. A nurse had to actually, like, hold my legs down... The results came back clean though, so yay!

Getting tested IS important. A lot of STIs don't show symptoms. For example, apx. 70some% of women who become infected with Chlamydia show absolutely no signs or symptoms, however, the disease still lives on. It can be spread to others and has the same internal long-term consequences. The numbers are almost just as high for Gonorrhea.

I'm assuming that this is one main reason why so many STIs are not detected and are spread so rapidly. They don't teach this stuff in sex ed class, even though I definitely think that they should!

As for pregnancy, well, I honestly am not sure WHY that is so high... especially in this city, bleh. Other than the misuse of birth control and condoms, I'm going to assume that the issue is more-so of a social one. Thattttt issue is a whole other blog.

All in all, have safe sex folks! Do it. Yup. Don't learn your lesson the hard way because sometimes, there is no going back. Remember that. But also remember that you are human, and we all fuck up.

PS: You CAN catch STIs from toilet seats, so get tested even if you haven't had sex in awhile. BLEH. I know it sounds like a myth, but it's true y'all! I feel slightly nauseated now at the thought of that, ginger ale and Big Brother time!

A Break Down and a Pick Up

By XTC

Alright! So, I owe you all an official explanation on what the heck happened to me. Well, as Disco and Glitterbella know, I have felt kind of... down... lately. I have a lot of personal issues occurring including my mother not having a job and being absolutely broke and having breakdowns in front of me, my father not talking to me, and my aunt being very sick. Sometimes I feel very trapped inside all of it, like there is no escape.

I began hanging out with Mr. Schoolgirl-Crush. You already know how I felt about that. Anyways, it didn’t end too well. I told him that he was cute and he replied with an explanation as to how he does not like me that way. I was sort of incredibly confused considering every time we hung out he made a move on me. I could understand him telling me that he didn’t want a relationship, but he seemed to not want anything at all.

This shouldn’t have affected me as much as it did... I should have immediately cut my ties and deemed it his loss. But considering my vulnerable state and how much I was completely crushing on him, I got very upset. Every guy that I genuinely like tends to never like me back, so I was very discouraged. I did not understand why this had to happen with him too, let alone the night before I went away on a trip that I had been looking forward to for a very long time.

We ended up getting into a big argument, which I was afraid may have potentially ruined any future chance with him, or even any chances for a friendship. He had a lot of stuff going on at the time and we were both very emotional for some reason and discussing anything at that time was simply a bad idea. Thankfully though, since I have returned from my trip he has spoken to me and we’ve made some small talk. We haven’t hung out, I’m not sure when we will or if we should just yet, but he at least seems to be quite open to the idea, which at least provides some comfort in the fact that I didn’t completely fuck it ALL up. I enjoyed hanging out with him and smoking up and talking, sexually or not.

At the time of our argument though, after my breakdown, all that was left for me to do was to not think about him, to try to distract myself. Clearly, nothing that I could say or do would make anything any better at that moment, we both needed to just have some time to calm down. So after some moping and such, I went on my little trip with the intention of having a hella wicked time.

I bought lots of cute things, including some dresses which were muchly needed. The concert was absolutely AMAZING. I tried some new and interesting food, and of course, got to spend some time with the ladies.

The part of the trip that would interest you, however, is a boy who I met there. For as long as I can remember consistently using MSN there is a guy who has been on it, who I talk to on a rather regular basis, and is from the area in which I was vacationing to. I planned on hanging out with him once last summer but when I was around I never found the opportunity. So this time I was determined to finally do so!

So on a more quiet evening where we were all just sort of doing our own thing and relaxing, I arranged a hang-out session. This concerned Disco and Glitterbella some; perhaps it wasn’t the MOST intelligent thing to do, but at the moment I was wickedly exhausted and just wanted to make the most out of every moment.

As soon as we saw each other he gave me a hug, then we proceeded to do a little bit of sightseeing. After awhile, we ended up at his place and took his dog for a walk, during which he held my hand. It was then that I was pretty much like, “Yup, we’re gonna bang.”

And so we did. Of course! It wasn’t immediate... there was a fair amount of cuddling and foreplay that proceeded it. But once it did begin to happen, I felt completely into it. I wanted to spend daysssss in his bed, it was soooo comfortable. We cleaned up together, he let me use his mouthwash and wear his housecoat, sort of made me feel like an old married couple... haha.

We proceeded to have sex two more times though. That was sort of my fault... I got into the mood and was SO not ready to sleep! So I was showing him the toys that I had bought earlier that day at an amazing sex shop I visited, and things just proceeded from there. Using a vibrator during sex = the BEST idea EVER. I actually had an orgasm, which is something that I had never done with a guy before.

The sex itself was very enjoyable. Lots of different positions and I actually enjoyed being on top, which is something that I usually feel a little uncomfortable with. I just didn’t really care with him. He is quite silly but also quite sweet and flattering. I’m not used to men telling me that I am beautiful or anything like that.

For once, I also slept well. I normally cannot sleep when I am sharing a bed with somebody, let alone a guy, let alone if we are too close to each other. When I realized that there was no way I was going to be able to stay awake any longer, I chose my favourite pillow and lay down. He told me that I could switch it with the pillow beside it, so that I’d be closer to him. He then pulled my head on top of his chest and held me tight and I fell asleep almost immediately. I remember changing positions once, when I woke up like that and my side hurt a little, so I turned, and he turned too, still holding me, and I fell right back to sleep. This was all quite surprising.

All in all, it was a very enjoyable experience. He spent a lot of time admiring my body, which made me feel a little insecure at first but turned out to be very flattering and empowering. There were lots of little non-sexual kisses. On the drive back into town he held my hand or had his hand on my thigh almost the entire time. I hadn’t just randomly held hands with a guy in a very long time prior to him, so it was a little weird.

Leaving to go home completely sucked. I absolutely adore that city, I feel so much more at home there. I have talked to him a couple of times since I returned home though. The first time he told me to come back like twice, and sent me a picture that he took of us together, which I found to be quite cute. The second time, he didn’t really have much to say at all... So I’m a little confused.

I am not looking for a long distance relationship but it would be nice to know that he likes me, and to have the possibility of seeing him again if I ever return to town. I guess we will just have to wait and see. For future reference, I am going to call him Alejandro. This is not to imply anything specific, but the next morning while we were driving this song came on and he said that it was for me, since I was seeing Lady Gaga live that night. So, yeah, it’s easy to remember!

Anyways! I think that that is pretty much the summary of it all... Time to watch True Blood! <3

The Bigger the Better?

By XTC

After work tonight I am going to post another blog discussing my recent... activities... and my emotional-challenge situation that Disco mentioned previously. But for NOW, I am going to focus on this week's topic.

Size. The ever-debated question. We are obsessed with size. Jean size, bra size, penis size, etc.

To me, size is not a huge issue (no pun intended). I am very much so a "it's all in how you work it" kinda gal. Of course, it is good if the guy is bigger then his fingers... But he doesn't have to be huge. In fact, I prefer that he is not. Since I don't have consistent sex, usually when I do, it hurts at first, so if the guy is very big it is incredibly painful for me. Maybe if I was with the same guy on a regular basis, I may better appreciate the largeness, but for now, I prefer a good average size.

Schoolgirl Crush :(

By XTC

Dating sites are dumb, blah blah, we’ve all heard it. But a long time ago, I joined one, mainly out of curiosity. A friend of mine told me that it helped her kill time during a week that she was incredibly bored, that some of the messages that you receive are utterly hilarious. So I tried it out of boredom and curiosity as well.

I sure did get a lot of interesting messages. I’ll share all of the creepy-tales with you during an internet dating topic some week. I did not take the site very seriously, at all. Although, I did meet a couple of friends through there.

Since I’m back home in refinery city for the summer I’ve been using it a bit more frequently and actually began talking to this one guy. He stopped coming on MSN almost altogether, but then gave me his cell phone number, so we began texting.

One day I was having an incredibly shitty day, and he made me tell him what was wrong. He was very nice about it. He offered to hang out with me that weekend to help cheer me up and distract me, even though he was timid about doing so, because every girl he ever met on that site turned out to be completely nuts.

That same day he warned me that he wasn’t looking for anything serious. According to his profile, he is looking for “a relationship” though... so I’m undecided as to whether or not he really doesn’t want anything, or he was only telling me that as a precaution in case I was a total crazy, haha.

We text messaged all day Saturday, which definitely helped me pass the time at my little cousin’s birthday party. That evening, due to my mother’s protests, we did go out. It was very comfortable from the beginning. He was very friendly, we drove around and talked a lot, commonly getting off topic.

After awhile we took a ferry to a nearby island and went to his friends’ house to get high. That was an, interesting... experience. We weren’t there too long, I think that he sensed that I was uncomfortable. They seemed like nice people, but being high in a large group of strangers makes me feel incredibly shy sometimes.

Driving back to the ferry was incredibly creepy. There was fog that went about three feet high on the road, and the roads were windy, twisting through the woods. Very first-episode-of-the-vampire-diaries-esque.

When I told him this, he suddenly grabbed my side to try to scare me when I wasn’t looking. I think that there was some definite flirting going on, he would find ways in the conversation to casually touch me; which was slightly unexpected.

I couldn’t go back home high while my mother was still awake, so we went to a tourist lookout spot in town to hang out. The flirting continued while there, we kept getting so close, which drove me crazy. Finally, though, he did kiss me. A lot of making out then persisted.

All was going incredibly well until, while kissing my neck, he suddenly looked up and stopped. Slightly concerned, I asked what was wrong. He replied with, “There’s somebody out there.” Sure enough, some creepy older man was standing outside of the car, simply... watching us...

Needless to say we peeled the hell outta that place. It worked out for the best though because not only did it make a good story to tell, but I also got an excuse to see his apartment! Beds always make a much better make-out spot.

We didn’t have sex, as much as I was tempted to. He claimed that he didn’t want to the first night we met anyways. But the fooling around was still quite fun, he turned me on a lotttttt, all without even going under my pants! That’s a bit of a rare quality it seems.

After that night we still text messaged quite a bit. A couple of days later he messaged me at like 8am saying good morning, even though he knew that I was asleep. I found that very cute. We hung out again that night as well.

There was a lot of driving involved. Apparently he loves driving. The only issue with it is that I tend to have to pee a lot. I found out the hard way that the Saint John Airport is NOT open 24 hours.

We went to a lighthouse on the peak of the bay, which seemed slightly... romantic? I don’t know. But it was incredibly foggy so you could not see very much, and the fog horn kept going off every few minutes.

It was all sort of creepy. I have been watching way too many episodes of Criminal Minds lately, so I was slightly paranoid being there. So even though we were having a very fun make out session, I made him take me back to town. If I’m going to have fun with a boy, I want to do it somewhere that I feel completely comfortable.

Once again, we returned to his apartment. And, of course, once again, there was some fun involved. I had to be cautious though because his bottom lip was sore from me biting it too hard last time.

Then, while we were caught up in the moment, he TOLD ME to bite it. So... I did... apparently too hard enough, because it obviously caused him quite a bit of pain. I felt pretty horrible afterwards. But after a few minutes we did continue doing what we were doing. That’s not a total deal breaker, right?

I wanted to have sex with him SO much, to let him touch me soooo much. He seemed to want it too; he repeatedly told me how much he wanted me. When I returned the words in a calmer moment, he seemed sort of surprised and asked what I like about him.

Although he clearly wanted to have sex with me, he didn’t pressure it. In fact, at one point he even said, “I don’t even want to have sex with you right now, I just want to touch you, and make you so wet, and give you pleasure, so bad.” I wanted it so bad too, but sadly, Mother Nature did not.

I wasn’t about to let him be hard for over an hour straight and not get anything though, so we ended up titty fucking. I could have just given him head, but I don’t think that he expected me to go that far, so the breast thing just sort of happened.

From what I could tell he absolutely loved it. His face alone would have told me that. He moaned a lot, and pretty much flat out told me that it was absolutely amazing. Multiple times. I let him cum in my mouth, and he gave me a little peck on the lips afterwards, then laid his head on my chest for a few minutes prior to taking me home.

Now that Mother Nature is almost through with her curse for this month I am badly craving him. I didn’t get home until about 8am that morning. We were out together all night. He offered for me to just sleep there, but I knew that that wouldn’t sit very well with my mother, she was worried enough as it was.

The next day I realized that he got up for work at, like, 6am the morning previous. He had literally been up for over 24 hours straight. Which made me feel kind of bad... but I’m hoping that it means that he’s at least a little into me.

We haven’t talked too much since then, but he also worked 14 hour long shifts both of the following days. Yesterday was a national holiday and he texted me to wish me a happy day, but by the time I saw it and replied he was getting drunk with his family. So, clearly, he wasn’t in the best texting state. He kept leaving his phone and such, and was clearly wasted, and with family, so I left him alone.

I am very much so hoping that he messages me today, or maybe tomorrow. Just... sometime soon. I am definitely over thinking it. It sucks. I am just very into him. In fact, I am probably too into him.

There is no doubt in my mind that it would be an incredibly fun, comfortable, and hot fuck. But I genuinely enjoy my time with him, like, I actually sort of like him. I’m quite scared that if I DO sleep with him, serious feelings may eventually develop.

He doesn’t even seem like the kind of guy to just fool around. Maybe I will be a special case? I have absolutely no idea. He is just so easy to talk to, and so nice. One time, when we were making out, he complained that I always close my eyes and he can’t see into them. And then the next time we saw each other, he told me to open my eyes and look into his.

Guys don’t normally say that sort of shit if they are looking for non-committal sex, I don’t think. Part of me is just like, “RUN” because I am very petrified of falling for him and him not liking me back, like what normally happens. Okay, what always happens.

There’s not much that I can do though, really. I can’t be like, “So, what is this?” after only hanging out two times, even if one of them did last like seven hours. And if I just stop hanging out with him or trying I will definitely regret it. Ugh, I hate risks, it’s scary.

As the lovely Disco pointed out to me, the best thing to probably do is to assume that it is only a fling, and if it turns into more, then it turns into more. I will just stay neutral and not act like it’s totally casual but not act like it’s serious either. And just... hope for the better... Surely, with all of my bad luck with men something will work out well sometime very soon!

Anyways, I hope that I see him soon.

Any advice is very much so welcomed!

Under the Influence

by XTC

Most of my sexual experiences have involved intoxication of some sort. This is not something that I am necessarily proud of; in fact, I wish that this were not the case. I’m sure that sex while drunk is useful to help spice up the bedroom of many couples, and it may be fun if you finally snag that hot guy at the bar you’ve been eyeing all night. However, personally, it isn’t my thing. Maybe this will change in the future, but the sexual experiences that I have had while drunk were not exactly anything to brag about the next day.

My first drunken sexing occurred on my eighteenth birthday. I had just moved away for college and into my dorm. As fate had it, my birthday fell on the weekend that the school’s “dry welcome week” ended. So needless to say, everybody was smashed. The boy was in my room, but there with another girl from down the hall, who I did not really know. I managed to entice him away with my lip ring and handcuffs that he had spotted lying on my window sill.

We should have had sex right there, we should have broken in my new bed. Unfortunately, one of the new friends who I had just made days prior, was a little protective. She refused to let anybody leave the room as a method of preventing me from “making a dumb choice.” Thanks to new residence buildings, however, I had a private bathroom! But then she stole my condoms... As you can see, this was not easy for me. Somehow in my drunken (and I mean drunken) state I managed to remember that a condom was given to me in my residence welcome package.

Needless to say, we had sex on my bathroom floor while all of my friends listened. It wasn’t nearly worth all of the hassle that I went through to get it. Not to sound incredibly prude... but I have been fingered by fingers that were bigger than his penis. It lasted one minute. Or maybe even less. Literally. The only thing that made it not horrrrrrible is that I was still incredibly tight at the time so it didn’t hurt as much as it would have if it would have been with somebody else. Maybe it could have even been decent if it lasted through an entire song.

I don’t remember what he looked like, only that he had red hair. I only got his first name, which I had to be reminded of by my friends. I haven’t seen him since. If you do want to have a drunken one time hook up, I believe that it should be one that you look back on in the future and think, “Wow, I remember that one time when...” It should be an awesome experience. So, basically, my message is not to completely avoid drunken hook-ups, but just have high standards of who they are with. I know that such judgement is difficult while drunk, but it’s just something to keep in mind. There are far too many disease and pregnancy options out there to risk it on horrible sex that you may not even remember the next day.

I should have learned my lesson after that birthday. But sadly, more experiences followed. The most shameful would be the deflowering of my friends’ cousin who came down to visit for a weekend. Thank god she forgave me for that. By the way, don’t ever make that mistake. Not only did I feel guilty and awkward as hell the next day, but I was drunk and sloppy and he was completely inexperienced and we barely knew each other so there was no level of comfort or familiarity. It was one of the worst sexual experiences that I have, and I’m sure that it was not an adequate introduction into the world of sexuality for that poor guy.

The WORST, however, occurred this past school year. I went months without any intercourse. The chance just never came up. I wasn’t exactly looking either... But one night I had a treasure hunt with my friends. After hours of walking around town in the cold we found ourselves at the school pub. I got smashed. By the time I headed home, I had drank two entire pitchers of beer to myself. Keep in mind, that I am usually drunk after one.

A guy who I had sorta been seeing the spring prior decided to call me that night because he was back in town. So I went over to his friends’ places to hang with them for awhile. I couldn’t go to bed while so wasted anyways if I didn’t want to wake with a hangover, and everybody else was asleep because it was a school night.

I will spare the details on how everything happened, but we sort of had a three some of sorts... I’m sure that this topic will arise eventually so I will further embellish on this story then. For now, let’s just say, that it was horrid. The new man was incredibly blessed in the size range and I am tight, and was far too drunk to feel comfortable there or lubricate properly. So so so so painful. I hurt the entire next day, it was worse than when I lost my virginity.

Now that I’ve shared my most horrific alcohol-related experiences, unto something that I DO enjoy - weed. I began smoking weed when I was rather young. There are periods where I barely do it at all, periods where I do it too much, it fluctuates. But one thing that I never did, was have sex while high. I always wanted to... I go through different moods when I smoke, depending on the situation and the weed, etc. But one of those moods is a need to touch everything... and just... enjoy everything.

When this blog first began I wrote about celibacy and how I had actually been celibate for awhile. Well, a couple of weeks ago, that streak was broken. It also happened to be my first time having sex while high.

The man was a guy who I have... history... with, tracing back to many years ago. Certain friends think that it was a bad decision, other friends don’t even know yet, but I’m sure that they would object as well. It may not have been the best decision, but thankfully I have not spent time with him since so it has not turned into a regular thing, or an incredibly complicated situation.

We smoked multiple joints. We’d fool around a little bit, smoke more, fool around more, smoke a bit more, and so on. It was quite... kinky in some ways. The foreplay was amazing. He definitely knows what he is doing! That combined with the enhanced physical feeling due to the weed... utter awesomeness. My only regret is that I didn’t let it continue on for longer until I got to orgasm. I was just impatient and kept wanting more, I guess.

There were a lot of kinkyesque things involved that I quite enjoyed; including rough nipple play, choking, and messy cock-sucking. He asked me to make sure that it wasn’t too much though. I liked it. We tried a ton of various positions and I got a much better sense of what I like best and what I’m not a huge fan of, which was muchly needed.

Before I went there I expected for something sexual to happen. We always had a bit of a desire for each other and he hadn’t been with a girl for a very long time. I guess that you could say that I got what I wanted. I have been stressed out lately, and just prior to that night I was on the verge of exploding. I got to catch up with an old friend, get high and relax, and blow off some physical steam. It was SUCH a relief and I felt absolutely amazing the next day.

Back to this week’s topic specifically, I think that the weed really helped the situation. It made me feel relaxed and comfortable, and I was much more easily aroused because all good feeling was intensified. It should also probably be noted that since I have never had consistent sex I am still quite tight and a lot of the time, sex hurts at first. It should have hurt a lot this time because this specific boy is quite gifted. However, thankfully, it wasn’t too bad at all. I think that part of that may be due to weed’s alleged pain-numbing powers.

SO, to wrap up, although I am not a huge fan of drunken hook-ups, a good smoke before sex is something that I am quite in favour of. In fact, I definitely hope to do it again someday. It’s a grand ol’ fun time!

Phonography - Yup, There Are Even Pop Songs 'Bout It!

By XTC

Proceed with caution: We’re all honest individuals here. I am going to warn you, prior to reading this blog entry, that I am going through an intense period of PMS right now. I was supposed to begin my period today but haven’t so far and it’s just pretty bad. Tonight I have cried to random happy songs, laughed hysterically at a video of a kitten getting hit by a bigger cat, and had the urge to beat the shit out of somebody. I’m not a violent person. I need new birth control pills. Ones with better regulators... I also dislike these hot flashes. They suck. ANYWAYS I just thought that I would warn you of this because it mayyyy come across in my entry.

So! Sex through technology. What isn’t through technology now? Seriously. I did a little bit of research on this topic using recent news. Guess how I found those news articles – on the internet.

(I mayyyy be kind of distracted with texting people about how horny I am right now, but it fits well with the topic, so I’ma stick to it...)

First of all: What IS non-physical sex? Obviously it includes various forms of sexual interaction through methods other than physical contact, such as telephone, texting, the internet, etc. I’m not sure what the dictionary definition is, such a thing is kind of hard to define, but I consider it to include both discussion sexual matters though words, such as explaining what you would like to do to the other person, etc., or sending/receiving sexual photographs.

I came across an article discussing how the city of New York is in the progress of implementing a new school policy to help prevent sexting and cyber bullying.

Clearly, cyberbullying is an ever-growing phenomenon that needs to have action taken against it. But sexting? Is it really THAT big of an issue? (PS: If you haven’t already figured it out, sexting involves sending sexually explicit text messages.)

The punishment that they are proposing is rather severe. Students caught sexting can receive not only a board meeting with their parents but an expulsion from the school for up to 90 days. Clearly such a punishment would have a huge effect on their personal life and school performance.

Although this may seem within decent regulation it must most importantly be noted that these are not small children who are receiving such strict punishments for this act; it is high school students as well, ages 16, 17, 18, etc. I have to ask – If you are at an age where it is legal to have sex who the hell has the right to tell you you’re not allowed to do it via cell phone?

Oh, it gets even worse! Not only is this punishment applicable if you sext on school property, but if you do so off of school time as well! That’s right, even students on summer vacation can be accused and punished if somebody was to report them to the school the following school year.

Naturally, this draws a HUGE line between rules that are in place to enforce that school is merely an educational environment and an invasion of one’s personal privacy and personal rights. I, myself, think that it is complete and utter bullshit. It is ridiculous rules such as this that make teenagers resent school and education in general.

A link to the full article can be found here:
http://wcbstv.com/local/sexting.nyc.sexting.2.1760507.html
But you can also find more info by simply doing a google or youtube search on the topic. As I’m sure you can imagine, there are a lot of opinions circling around this.

In all honesty, I find the occasional raunchy text conversation very beneficial in helping a long night at work fly by.

Virginity. The virgin. The Virgo (ME!)

BY XTC

Oh, the virgin. Just hearing that word sends off countless societal clichés. In today’s world, in many cases, virginity does not appear to be a very big deal. It’s moreso... a disposable inconvenience. However, throughout history, virginity is something that has been both glorified and honoured.

In relation to last week’s blog, I do not believe that virginity is something that should be saved for one particular person as some form of a “gift” to them. This virginity is YOURS girls, yours! When and if you chose to lose it, it should be something that is for yourself, not anybody else.

Throughout high school, I was always known as “the virgin”. Coming from a city that has the highest teen pregnancy rate in comparison to the population in all of Canada, being a virgin was not exactly a common occurrence. In fact, one of my worst mid-teen memories involves a friend of mine telling me that if I went to university a virgin, everybody was going to laugh at me.

Now, I was not opposed to the idea of having sex. In all honesty, the last thing that I wanted to do was save myself for that perfect guy. I was far too petrified of waiting and then just getting played or being hurt in the end. I suppose that sometimes people are afraid to treasure something in fear that they may lose that treasure. My ideal situation was to lose it to somebody who I was, of course, sexually attracted to, and trusted, but was merely just a friend; no commitment or expectations.

That certain ideal guy just never came around during my younger years. I thought that I had found him once, but that sort of fell through in a matter that would turn out to be slightly tragic.

Eventually, the opportunity did arise. Following a Cancer Bats concert I went to go hang out with a friend who I used to have a tad bit of a crush on and hadn’t seen in quite a long time. That was the night. And trust me; it was not anything close to a fairy tale.

There were a number of things that went wrong. So, I feel that the only proper way of acknowledging them is by making a list of the ones which I clearly remember (compare this to David Letterman if you wish):

10. Not having any control whatsoever.
9. His temporary roommate (who years later turned out to be a total douche) drunkenly barging into the room during foreplay and demanding to watch TV.
8. Having to leave to travel to another province for a very Christian family wedding almost immediately afterward.
7. The uncomfortable pain.
6. Missing a period/spotting.
5. Mr. FirstTime not being able to keep it up.
4. Not seeing him again until about one year later.
3. The condom being way too big.
2. Having sex again approximately one week later and realizing that the virginity may have not been completely broken afterall...
1. Hannah Montana on in the background.

With all of this being said, I still do not completely regret my decision. It was what it was. At least I can look back on it and not feel heartbreak, or any feeling or betrayal.